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PTSD Blogging Peeling The Onion

September 24, 2011

I’ve discussed my PTSD story in other places on this site. When I first came back from Vietnam, as I’ve already stated,  I was lost.  I had no one to talk to and so eventually I started talking to myself.  I did this in the form of notes to myself, an early form of a diary, I guess.  Whenever I was feeling sorry for myself or had a flashback or a disturbing memory I would take the time and put it down in writing.   There was something about committing it to writing made it more bearable.

I have heard it later described, by my wife the psychologist, as peeling back an onion layer by layer.  I look back on some of my early writings and see that they were very superficial initially.  As I continued to chronicle things, the issues became more intense and directed.  I would record everything including dreams.  Though I couldn’t interpret these dreams myself, I did try.  I wanted to see what was in my subconscious that I was trying to get at. 

Sometimes my writings would be just a line or two, to put down some memory joggers about things I wanted to get to when I had the time to really devote to it.  Sometimes I would rant about “poor me”.  I gave myself permission to do this too, though I didn’t want to direct the blame outward as much as I wanted to look inward. 

My father, who wasn’t a formerly educated man, none the less had a lot of wisdom.  He once told me, “If you want to fail there are a million excuses to chose to blame it on.  But if you want to succeed there is only one reason and that is, that you don’t accept any of those million reasons to fail” .  You know the game.  We all play it. “I’m too fat,  I’m too thin, I’m too old, If I were only older.   The boss doesn’t like me, if only I hadn’t gone to Vietnam (I heard this one loud and clear)  The list is endless for all of us and I was in that negative place where they were easy to come by.  I didn’t have to stay in that place though, that part was up to me.   I knew I could find my way out.  I owed it to a lot of people but most of all to myself.

Our site is here to help you.  If you are a PTSD sufferer please find the courage to sit down for the first time and start doing, what they used to call in my Catholic upbringing, an” examination of conscience”.   Start to wrestle with yourself and your experiences so that you can start winning your fight.   By putting down your thoughts you will be helping yourself but also others, just like you, all over the Country to find their way.

If you are a PTSD spouse of a PTSD sufferer you can either be passive or you can come and find your voice and become active in your search for a change.  You need to get involved in your own healing but also be a support for your loved ones which include your spouse and your children, who will sooner or later be affected by this terrible problem of PTSD.  But you will also be a support for some other spouses out there that needs to hear your voice.

If you are a friend, you are welcome to come and blog and show support for a PTSD sufferer that you know.  Reach out to them and encourage them to start to act.  This PTSD problem will not go away on its own.  It is a battle that needs to be fought, in some cases, on a daily basis.  The consequences of inaction can be a life and death issue.  If there is something you can do, then do it.  If there is something you can say, then say it.

We are open 24 hours and day 365 days a year.  The posting is free but the results are priceless.  Sunlight is the best disinfectant.