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PTSD “Things Will Sort Themselves Out”

September 22, 2011

From Dr Jean Dzierzynski, Ph.D.

I was watching a DVD last night and there was a quote by one of the cast and directed to detective.  “Things will sort themselves out” said the person.  The detective replies, “In my many years as a detective, I have found that few problems work themselves out”.

I thought that this is exactly the issue that faces many couples in PTSD marriage .  Many couples know that there are problems in the marriage and somehow they think that if they just wait, that things will sort themselves out or that magically the problems will just go away.  A study on marriage reported that if couples get help and work on their marriage, within 5 years, they will resolve their issues and live out their lives in a happy marriage.  Those who do not, have a significantly higher likelihood of divorce. I am not saying that it will take 5 years of marriage counseling but that it takes time and effort for things to improve.  The problem is that most decide to wait, even knowing that problems exist. The average couple in marriage, will wait 7 years to seek help. PTSD spounses must decide fairly quickly that things are not what they had expected while waiting for their spouse to return home. Then why are they not reacting more quickly?

Once I asked a patient what took so long for them to get help and the response was that they feared that PTSD therapy was too expensive.   What is a marriage worth?  What is your health and well-being worth?  You see, things don’t just work themselves out.  In fact, more likely the problem will just get worse. Sometimes, by the time you seek help and help arrives, it is too late.  Divorce is much more costly; financially and emotionally then therapy can possibly be.

Marriage and family counseling is aptly named.  It does work and even very serious problems have a solution, if both parties are willing to work to get the marriage back on track.  This is more likely if you seek help early when both parties are still committed to saving the marriage. Once defensive side have been taken, chances of success diminish drastically.

Professional mental health help is the best solution for both the PTSD victim and the PTSD spouse but in the interim, come post at this site.  Discuss your issues which others are going through are surprisingly the same things that PTSD Families are going through. You are not the only couple that is struggling.  This help is free until you can get to see a mental healthcare professional to help you through this stormy time.